How to get your kids to brush their teeth
Nobody wins a nightly argument with a four-year-old. The trick is to stop making brushing a request and start making it a routine. Here is what actually helps, in order of how much difference it makes.
Nobody has ever won an argument with a four-year-old at nine at night.
That is worth saying first, because most advice about children and toothbrushing is really advice about persuasion. Persuasion is the wrong tool. What works is making the brush so ordinary that there is nothing left to argue about.
Here is what tends to help, in rough order of how much difference it makes.
Make it a fixed time, not a decision
A child who is asked "shall we brush your teeth now?" has been handed a choice, and the honest answer is no.
Attach brushing to something that already happens without discussion. After pyjamas. Before the story. Once it is part of a sequence rather than a separate event, most of the resistance goes, because there is no longer a moment where a decision gets made.
Do it with them, where they can see you
Children copy what they see far more than what they are told.
Brush at the same time, at the same basin, with your movements a bit bigger than usual so they can see what you are doing. If you floss, floss in front of them. This costs you nothing and does more work than any explanation.
Let them own the equipment
Take them to the shop and let them pick the toothbrush. If it has a character on it, or lights up, or is simply their favourite colour, that is a good enough reason.
Same with toothpaste. Children's paste is milder in flavour than adult paste, and that matters more than most parents realise, because a lot of refusal is really about the taste being too strong. From around 18 months use a low-fluoride children's paste. A smear for under-threes, a pea for older children, and teach them to spit rather than rinse. Rinsing washes off the fluoride you just put on.
Put a clock on it
Two minutes feels like a very long time when you are five.
Use a timer, a sand timer, a song, or the stopwatch on your phone. If there is more than one child, make it a race. The only rule is that speed must not turn into scrubbing, because hard brushing wears enamel and damages gums. Gentle and thorough beats fast and hard.
Reward the streak, not the session
A sticker chart is old advice because it works. Let them choose the chart and the stickers, and put a bigger reward at the end of a full month.
The reason it works is not the sticker. It is that a chart turns an invisible habit into something a child can watch themselves succeed at.
Practise on something that is not them
Give them a spare brush and a toy with a mouth, and let them do the brushing.
Being the person in charge for once takes a surprising amount of heat out of it. It is also a good way to teach the actual technique, which is small circles at the gum line rather than a sawing motion across the front.
The part parents most often skip
Children need help until about seven or eight. That is not about willingness. It is about wrist control, which simply is not developed enough before then to reach the back teeth properly.
The workable compromise is that they go first and you finish. They keep the independence and the teeth actually get clean. If you want a check on how it is going, we can show you at their next visit exactly where they are missing.
When it is still a fight
Sometimes it is not stubbornness. A child who flinches at the brush may have a sore tooth, an ulcer, or a mouth that is simply more sensitive than average.
If brushing is a nightly battle and none of the above shifts it, tell us. That is a normal thing to bring to an appointment and we would much rather hear about it early. Our children's dentistry visits are built around getting children comfortable rather than getting through a checklist.
The bottom line
You are not trying to make your child enjoy brushing. Most adults do not enjoy it either.
You are trying to make it automatic, so that in twenty years they do it without thinking. Same time, same place, with you there, for two minutes. That is the whole method.
A check-up and clean is a fixed $249 each, which covers the exam, the scale and clean, fluoride and any bitewing x-rays needed. We claim your health fund on the spot, and many funds cover it in full.
Read more: Preparing your child for their first dental visit
Children's dentistry FAQ
When should I start brushing my child's teeth?
As soon as the first tooth appears, usually around six to eight months. Before that, wiping the gums with a soft damp cloth gets them used to having their mouth cared for, which makes the first brush much easier.
How much toothpaste should a child use?
A smear for under-threes and a pea-sized amount after that, using a low-fluoride children's toothpaste from about 18 months. Encourage them to spit rather than rinse, because rinsing washes the fluoride straight off the teeth.
At what age can my child brush alone?
Most children do not have the fine motor control to brush properly until about seven or eight. Before then, let them have a go first and then you finish the job. They keep their independence and the teeth still get clean.
My child refuses to open their mouth. What now?
Try not to let it become a fight, because a struggle at the basin teaches a child that mouths are a battleground. Brush at a different time of day, brush your own teeth beside them, or let them brush a toy's teeth first. If it is still a battle, tell us at the next visit and we will work through it with you.
